2016...a new year for new things

Yeah, yeah, yeah...Happy New Year!  As I reflect on the last year and all that has taken place, it's crazy to think that so much can be squeezed into 365 days.  With work stuff and life stuff, the year was filled with happy feels and sad feels, stressed feels and celebratory feels.  I think of all the people around me, those that I dedicate my time to, who had their lives happening too.  Just so awesome to think about all the things that impacted our lives in such a short time.

Most people decide to have a New Year's resolution.  It could be something that they want to change or be better at doing. Something that could make them feel good inside and/or out.  Maybe they want to dedicate their time to other people, impacting the world in a different way than they already do.  Who knows?  What I do know is that most resolutions are broken very quickly.  I don't have a resolution.  I have a word.  Just one word.  And here's how I got it.

Jon Gordon is a great, motivational author.  Debbie Inwood, a former teacher of mine, shared a book with me that he had written that coaches people in finding one word to use as a focus for an entire year.  It is titled One Word That Will Change Your Life (http://www.amazon.com/Word-That-Change-Expanded-Edition/dp/1118809424). This one word should impact all aspects of your life. To come up with the one word is the challenge, although the book does help you think about how to make your one word decision.

My word for 2015 was committment.  I decided on this word because I often start something and then justify to myself why I don't have to carry out the task, kind of like when I tried to change my eating for 21 days.  FAIL!  But, I was committed to educating myself about nutrition and trying to make better decisions...got to find the positives.  It may take a bit to find the one word that you dedicate your year to, but when you do, it is important to use that word to guide decisions in the many areas of your life, work, home, school, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.  You get the idea.

For 2016, I don't have my word yet.  I need time to think about it and to think about what I need to guide me through the year.  Yes, I've set goals for myself.  Attainable goals that I know are realistic, but choosing a word to help me on my journey to achieving those goals is the challenge.  So for the next few days, I will not panic because I don't have my word.  I will think about the different areas of my life and self-reflect on the person I am and who I want to grow to be.  The word I choose will be perfect, once it comes to my mind.

Happy New Year, my sweet friends.  I am influenced and impacted by everyone in my life, sometimes in a way that needs adjusting, but most of the time in a positively aweomse kind of way.  May 2016 be a year of happiness and many blessings.  I'm excited to see where each day takes me on this jounrey of life.

"She gives great helmet."

Five months.  I haven't blogged in five months and when I started this whole blog thing, I told myself I would blog at least once a week.  Life is fast, funny, difficult, stressful, busy, depressing, exciting, surprising, and lots of other cool adjectives that I don't feel like typing.  And because of all those adjectives, I haven't blogged.

I am no longer detoxing or dieting properly because I fail at food.  I can admit that.  Food and I are just a dysfunctional relationship, filled with break-up/make-up food eating sessions that end with me feeling used...just kidding.  But I do feel a little guilty at times.  Okay, a lot gulity. I've decided that there's more to my life than just being a chubby crossfitter so my plan is to not focus on my diet, although that may pop in my writing from time to time, as it is a big part of my life, I mean, you have to eat to live, my problem is I live to eat.  Damn you food!!!  I will say this, I have been Diet Coke free for so long now, I can't remember (like 2 and a half months, but it feels like a year).  Honestly, I don't miss it.  I try to eat very little added sugar, but ice cream is an evil temptress. I indulge once a week, at least.  I have all the right eating knowledge in my head, and I am conscious of what I should be doing, so I give eating right a good effort and that's what I'm going to do for now.  Take that food!

CrossFit world is wonderful but what's even cooler is that I'm a semi-runner now.  I completed a half-marathon this month, on December 6th.  I trained pretty well with the help of two very good runners I am blessed to know. They even offered to run my long runs with me.  I mean, those are good friends right there, letting me slow them down, just so I can learn to speed up.  I crossed the finish line after two hours and forty minutes of running with only a few walking pit stops at the watering holes.  Here's how my brain works and how I stayed motivated for the duration of the run.  I figured if a woman can be in labor, birthing a child for hours on end, I could run for at least 3 hours without complaining.  Having never birthed a child, but having heard stories, this seemed like a good comparison.  And all I got at the end of my race was a medal...no baby like those exhausted birthing mommas.  It was so fun, I've signed up for another one in March and I'm going to run it a little quicker this next time around, because I'm all about those PRs!  I no longer hate running, but my left shin sure does.

In other news, my butt is mad at me because I've recently been talked into trying biking.  I was apprehensive at first, not knowing the biking rules, riding on a trail "owned" by experienced bikers, but I am being coached by a very patient biker.  One that knows I'm willing to try anything and once I do, I'm hooked.  Dammit, how come I get sucked in to everything??  Now I'm on the lookout for a new bike.  One that preferrably doesn't make my butt feel awful, but I hear that it is just something I will have to get used to.  You hear that butt, just get used to it!  Don't ask me how I'm going to get a potential bike to any trail since I drive a Kia Optima, but I'll find a way because riding a bike is fun...super hard, harder than people make it look, with the wind blowing in their hair and their strong (and deceivingly worn out) legs pumping up and down so fast...but nonetheless, fun.  And I get to wear a helmet and secretly quote a line from the movie Spaceballs  in my head to make me giggle when I'm riding over a bumpy bridge that makes my butt scream and a single, lonely tear roll down my cheek.

So many new things going on in my life.  I'm quite happy about it.  I wasn't very happy this past week, kind of a pity party up in here to be quite honest, but I'm doing better.  Perspective...finding the things to be happy about.  Sometimes it's hard depending on what's happening around you, but the happy is there.  My mom used to always end her day by journaling three positive things that made her happy that day.  For a woman dying of cancer, this always made me grateful to have such a wonderful role-model in life.  Why do I forget about all the good things she taught me and let the "bad" stuff get in the way?  Life is silly.  I'm glad I'm living it and trying all sorts of new things that are making me a happier, healthier person.  My mom would be SO proud of me, and that makes me the happiest of all!

I'm baaack!!! It's been an interesting 3 months...

So the middle of April was the last time I sat down and wrote about my detox and life.  Well, I'm a quitter. Day 13 is as far as I made it on the detox and I can say, it was a good run, but with all that was going on in my world, I needed some vodka.  That's what did it.  A crazy night at Kenny's Burger Joint, and it was worth it...at least for those vodka filled 4 hours.  But because of my grit-less-ness, I've had a chance to evaluate what needs to be done in my life (or as much as I can foresee needing adjustment), and I've started to make a plan to clean things up a bit.

Since you last joined me in a good little blog read, a lot has happened.  I've won first place in two scaled CrossFit competitions with two awesome partners, but one of my winning partners in crime moved away in June.  Missing our Quadzilla!!!  My coach, Logan Collins, got 7th in the 2015 CrossFit South Regional competition in May, and we were there to witness his greatness.  I sold my house, moved to an urban-esque apartment in the sky (5th floor, which is the top floor, is in the sky, right?), paid off all my debt and planned a few summer vacations.  I just got back from Arizona, where I visited my best bud, Melanie, and a great box, Crossfit SanTan.  In three days, I'll be traveling to the Bahamas to swim with the pigs...yep, pigs.  Not dolphins, but pigs.  It's going to be OINK-tastic!  I'll be sure to discuss upon my return.

With all of that said, I'm ready to hop back on this detox train...CHOO-CHOO (catalyst for the reboot...swimsuit shopping! YUCK!).  I ordered Christmas's book, I've made some goals for myself for the next few months and ultimately the year, and I'm ready to take care of me.  It's funny because I'm a super social person with awesome people in my life, yet I'm a lonely soul.  I have a heart that I want to share, but have realized that until I get myself mentally healthy, I don't know that I'm ready to take on anyone else.  I joined Match.com but it has proven unsuccessful so I canceled the membership today.  Funny thing about online dating, it really makes you feel terrible about yourself if you're not careful, and I'm not cut out for that online world.  I'm going to work on me...find my inner happiness and make sure I'm ready to conquer any situation life tosses at me, the best I know how.

Great news!!! Logan is opening his own box, Crossfit Rejoice. (Isn't that a lovely name?  Makes my heart smile.)  I can't wait to have a new, fresh start.  New box, new goals, new me.  And yes, I failed in April, but since I dipped my toe in the detox pool, tested the waters and know what to expect, I'm ready.  Looking past a 21 day detox, I need to focus on the many, manageable goals that I have set for myself personally, for the year to come. CrossFit is a huge part of my life, but I am also a dedicated educator, looking to have a wonderful 3rd year as principal of an excellent school.  Setting goals for CrossFit and health goes hand and hand with setting work goals, and I love achieving goals. I'll be sure to post my goals here to hold myself accountable to them, even when I stumble or fall off the wagon.

I ask those of you that take the time to read my silly little blog to encourage me when you can, whether it's on here or in person.  I know those taking a gander at my ramblings care about me or else you wouldn't spend the time on this read.  Thank you for caring about me, about what happens in my life and for being a part of this journey with me.  Stay tuned...July 20th is D-Day (Detox Day), but before that, bring on the Bahamian pigs!!!

Mandy's "good-bye" WOD

Ronnie Round-Up, 1st Place with Amy!

Totally 80s Crippler, 1st place with Mandy

A shot with regional athlete (and super aweomse coach) Logan Collins

Eggs, eggs and more eggs

I have decided I'm not a hard-boiled egg fan, and I'm eating a lot of hard-boiled eggs.  Scrambled, yes. Fried, yes. Hard-boiled, nope.  Hard-boiled is the easiest form of eating the egg...already cooked and ready to pop in the pie hole, but after 3-4 every other day, they aren't quite that tasty.  I'm going to get creative with my eggs this week.

Today I spent my time cheering on Marla Womble, one of my 4:30 CrossFit sisters, in her first novice competition.  She did an awesome job.  Being at the competition and seeing all the hard working athletes makes me feel proud to be a part of a wonderful community.  CrossFit is competitive but for me, it's mostly about competing against myself, doing better each workout, making PRs, getting more efficient in my movements/lifting, and that's what keeps me going back every day.  That, and of course, the wonderful people that have entered my life that I now consider "family".  

This detox is getting better.  I packed food to take with me to the competition today.  I was able to pack a 2 brick snack and a 4 brick lunch, but by 4:30, I was needing to eat.  Thankfully the day was done and I got home and ate more...eggs.  Yep, those damn eggs.  I'm only really craving Diet Coke.  I had a few sips of a Monster energy drink today (no sugar), but threw most of it in the trash.  I think that helped a little.  

After I got home, I made my grocery list for tomorrow.  I'm ready to tackle the grocery store and get my meals ready for a new week.  At least now I kinda know how much food to buy and after figuring out brick meals, shopping should be easier.  It may be an interesting one.  My dad called around 7:30 and said he was back in the hospital.  One of his incision sights where he had a feeding tube became infected and ruptured so he's getting it checked out.  If the infection is internal (which they are doing a scan to determine), then they will move him back to the hospital downtown and do surgery.  Let me tell you, I've been in a situation with diets and hospitals and it never goes well, but no matter what, I will be a brick-eating, detoxing lady.   I just know dad will be okay, so no worries.

It's been an interesting week, to say the least...

Earlier in the week I was emotionally stressed, to the point that I had to go to the doctor because I was breaking out on my arms and legs...like hives but not hives but itchy.  Strange.  Anywho, all better and just surrendering to the fact that some people are cowards when it comes to relationships/friendships, ending them or mending them.  But, to each his own.  I have the right people in my life and I know that.  Thank God for those that are real with me.

Detox is actually going great.  It's the best part of my week, yep I said it.  And I think it's because it's one thing I have control of.  I altered my intake a little to allow for some dairy and good grains (though I haven't had any since none exist in my house right now) but I'm still going strong on the no sugar, no alcohol and no processed foods.  I've run out of food at my house and don't know what I'll do for dinner tomorrow, but prepping for lunch and snacks for tomorrow was speedy this time.  It is getting better. I was just letting little life stresses test me and try and throw me off my path.  Not today!!!

I've never eaten so much chicken or strawberries in my whole life.  I'm not a veggie lover so I stick with a lot of fruits.  I'm fruited out, but at the store this weekend, I'll try some new things and definitely have a better idea of how much food to buy so I'm not scrounging for more at the end of the week.

My true test will come when I travel to Houston the first weekend in May.  I don't know how I'll prep food for that, but I'm sure by then, I'll have it all figured out, mapped out, or whatever I need to do to stay successful for the remainder of my 21 days.

So far, just four days in, I've seen a change in my sleep.  I'm sleeping better and hop out of bed when the alarm goes off in the morning, which is doing its job of waking me, which means I'm sleeping all the way to when the alarm is going off...see, great sleep.  My body is a bit broken from workouts.  I am having some serious calf cramps after tonight's workout so I took my first ice bath, BRRRRR!!!  My shoulder has also been troublesome for a few months now, but I finally made an appointment with an orthopedic doctor to get it checked out.  Hope it isn't serious, but it is giving me pain when I lift, which sucks because I love to lift.

Staying the course, living and learning and choosing to have a better, more positive attitude when it comes to personal struggles...those are my goals moving into the weekend and next week.

Man...my GRIT is fading!

Day 2 was hard, not so much detox wise, but life wise.  People suck.  I mean, no all people, but people that you think care about you or who you think you can trust and then BAM! they treat you with such disrespect. I hate that.  I know that I'm guilty of being a sucky person at times, but I usually fess up to it and swallow my pride and apologize...or call it quits with the person so there isn't any animosity lingering.  Anyway, I've just encountered a few very challenging personal days.

Now for this eating situation.  I'm a champ and queen of justification...justification of why I should or why I shouldn't do something.  I'm fading on this detox.  Christmas said the Modifier plan was the hardest and she, yet again, was correct.  I am going to continue to detox with no sugar, alcohol or processed foods and be conscience of the number of bricks I'm eating, but I'm adding in the soft dairy and good grains that I'm allowed if on the Maintainer plan.  I think this will help me tremendously.  Still eating well, just not "primo" clean.  Then, when it isn't the week before testing, end of the school year chaos, or just plain crazy, I'll try the Modifier again.  Am I quitting?  No.  Am I adjusting?  Yes.  Did I justify to myself that it is okay?  Yes, because what I am going to be eating is SO much better for me than my last supper of McDonald's and Dairy Queen.

Confession over.  Thinking good thoughts for those people that suck and don't know how to be brave and courageous in their relationships.  Going to go sweat a little at workout and add some flare to my 4 block dinner tonight and then I'll move on to tomorrow and the focus on the new blessings it has to offer.

Day 1...OMG!!!

Well, I survived day one.  I weighed in this morning...242.4 pounds.  Holy hell...I just put that out there for the world to see.  I don't feel like I weigh that much, and I am in pretty good shape for a chubby CrossFitter, but I know with a good 40 pounds off this "athletic", "big boned", "beefy", "fluffy" frame, I can do so much more in my workouts and my insides will be happier and healthier too.  

I have to say, the food wasn't so bad.  I can definitely see that I don't have enough food for the week AND I clearly love fruits way more than vegetables.  I'll need to work on that.  I whipped up an interesting dinner, healthier than the one I had last night, but I'm craving some Diet Coke in a serious way.  Lemons are on the next grocery list...spice up that water a bit and give it some flavor.

I have lunch packed for tomorrow and I'm ready for another day.  I have to say, once I get some menu options in the books (I'm keeping a food journal to help save time when prepping 4 brick meals and 2 brick snacks), I think I'll be happier with this detox.  Tomorrow I'm wearing my new "Got Grit?" shirt that the Harris family gave me.  I'm wearing it because for me, this detox is going to take some GRIT on my part. Just because it gets hard and/or I feel tempted, I'm not going to let that steer me in the wrong direction. Plowing through until I finish day 21 is my goal and I will get there.  What I plan on doing for day 22, that's another story.

Hopefully tonight I'll close my eyes and dream of French fries and chips and queso and I'll chase them down with a big, Sonic Route 44 Diet Coke...a sweet dream for sure!!!  Come on day 21!!

My dinner last night was McDonald's which I had AFTER I ate a Dairy Queen Mint Oreo Blizzard (obviously shoving in all the forbidden foods before D-Day...Detox Day).  Tonight I made a dinner with lots of green stuff.  It was good, but I wasn't "Lovin' it".